Adventures in Ministry

What an amazing Response

2009-04-20T14:33:00.000-07:00

Our first corporate Missional Project of the year ended last Sunday. It took me the entire week to count all the care packages that came in. There is a massive stack of Ziploc bags piled high in the corner of our auditorium. We even had to take out a few chairs to fit the bags there. In total, there were over 750 bags, and they keep coming in! I'm so proud of the people in our church for stepping up, including people in this project, and then fulfilling their promise of practically loving the people of San Diego. I called Monarch School yesterday to tell them, and they only have room for 100 bags. San Diego Rescue Mission is still getting back to me on how many they can take in. We also gave 150 to the Isaiah Project for their huge concert in the park this last Saturday. While we may have been short of our original goal of 2,000, I can't help but see this as a huge success. God spoke, we were faithful in telling our church about it, and the people responded according to their measure. I'm so proud to be a part of this great community of believers. I can't think of a church in the world I would rather work with. God is doing amazing things in San Diego through Existence Church.

Corporate Missional Project

2009-03-30T15:20:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago we kicked off our first corporate Missional Project of the year. Our goal is to make 2,000 care packages and distribute them between Monarch School and the San Diego Rescue Mission. Now our church is only 400 people strong, so we are asking our friends, coworkers, and family members to help out. So I want to extend the invitation to all of you. Below is our flier and you can click on it to see what each care package includes. If you would like to create one and send it to either myself or my church, please do so. If you would like to help out, but are too far away to send it, then you can send me a check for $13 and I will make it up for you. The deadline for turning in the bags is Easter Sunday (2 weeks away), so please act quickly!

Act or Talk?

2009-03-05T10:42:00.001-08:00

I was raised in the church even though my family wasn't Christian. From second grade until I graduated college, I spent only two years in a secular environment (Community College, or "High School with ashtrays"). During my schooling, two needs were pounded into my brain: the need to evangelize and the need to serve.

Now I've always done a great job at serving. For some reason its come natural to me. I've gone on countless mission trips all over the world, worked as a missionary in Mexico, and now I help over 20 people at our church lead others to serve. For me, serving is a part of who I am.

But when it comes to evangelism, I've been found wanting. I can count how many people I've led to Christ: 0. I've taught the gospel to a few, baptized even fewer, but never have I been the main catalyst in a person's search for hope and grace in Jesus.

In fact, I've been really good at separating the two topics. On many occasions I've found myself serving people with a great heart and attitude, but with the most non-Christian of actions: building a home with a cigarette in my mouth, having a beer and burrito with a homeless man, or putting on a sports camp that included my foul mouth. The fact is, I was missing the point of it all.

I thought there were two types of people in the world, servers and tellers, and I was a server. Which meant that I was doing my part of Christianity and it didn't matter how I served because serving was the important thing. "They'll see Christ through my love and service," I thought, but I never took into account all the things I did to distract from Christ.

The point is that service and evangelism go together, they aren't separate. To put it in Existence Church terms, Missional living and Inclusive living go hand-in-hand. I found the following statement on the Micah Challenge website. I changed it slightly for the purpose of this article:

[Inclusive and Missional living] is the proclamation and demonstration of the gospel. It is not simply that evangelism and social involvement are to be done alongside each other. Rather, in [Inclusive and Missional living] our proclamation has social consequences as we call people to love and repentance in all areas of life. And our social involvement has evangelistic consequences as we bear witness to the transforming grace of Jesus Christ. If we ignore the world we betray the word of God which sends us out to serve the world. If we ignore the word of God we have nothing to bring to the world. Justice and justification by faith, worship and political action, the spiritual and the material, personal change and structural change belong together. As in the life of Jesus, being, doing and saying are at the heart of our integral task.

2009-03-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday, we held a film screening for Invisible Children. We watched almost 2 hours of information on what is going on in the Sudan, Uganda, and the Congo. It is a heartbreaking story that will make you cry, burn with rage, smile at the hope, and desire for action. On March 25th, we will be hosting another Invisible Children event. Check out their website for more information on what's going on in central Africa and how you can get involved.

EXIST 09 Art Show a HUGE success

2009-02-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

The Exist 09 Art Show was unbelievable. For the past 5 months, Steve Cachero and I have been working around the clock to put on an art show that serves multiple purposes: 1) Raise the awareness that good art exists in San Diego, 2) Bring people from all walks of life into our church, 3) Raise money for our church's building campaign and camp sponsorships for students of Young Life Ministries, and 4) Give artists a night to gain exposure and sell their work.

Last Friday night, February 6th, by the grace of God we succeeded at every goal. Over 500 people piled into our church's auditorium throughout the night for the art show, bringing in over $1800 for our causes. Keep in mind it was raining profusely throughout the evening and we did not serve alcohol at the event, just coffee. Some artists were able to sell a few pieces with the profits of their sales remaining in the artists' hands. We had 5 or 6 people doing live art, 3 DJs, and a house band playing in between DJs.

Understand that this night was the very first art show Steve or myself have ever planned. Last week alone the two of us combined for over 80 hours of work spent on planning and preparing for the show. Most nights we wouldn't leave the auditorium until well after 9 or 10 in the evening. The craziest thing was having the auditorium back to normal for Sunday morning services, but with the help of some very unselfish volunteers, we had it all cleaned up within 4 hours.

Without a doubt, the Exist 09 Art Show was a crazy huge success!! Thanks to all who helped out in prayer, support, and attendance. Thanks to all the artists and volunteers, our friends and loved ones, the staff at Existence and Young Life, and most importantly the Lord Jesus Christ for giving us this amazing vision and the tools for which to successfully carry it out.

Check out the pictures on Flickr!!!

EXIST 09 Art Show

2009-01-21T14:08:00.001-08:00

This is an Art Show my friend and I are putting on. You are all invited!!

2008-12-23T14:03:00.001-08:00

Here is a great article written by an old friend. Remember, this is her opinion on the topics discussed. If you disagree with her, then that's fine, but be civil and courteous in your disagreement. The important thing here is her willingness and courage to start the dialogue of what needs to be changed. Too many people are scared to doubt, question, and even brainstorm; for that I commend her! Enjoy...

In My Opinion By L.N.P.

What Religion Should Do

I continue to struggle with religion. Not with faith —I live by faith — but with the denominationalism of organized religion, and the sometimes petty and insignificant issues that seem to plague any religion and almost all churches. I often find myself wondering how far some aspects of religion have strayed from Christ's intent.

For example, I can’t help wondering what is good and kind and holy about exclusivity? Jesus came to serve, to be a friend to sinners, prostitutes, tax collectors. The only ones he really had a problem with were the hypocrites: those who pretended to live by faith but instead lived by a set of rules, preferring to be right about the law than to be right with God. Preferring to pass judgment on others rather than practice forgiveness and compassion. I still see it all around me—even within the church—despite what we profess to believe.

One of the issues upon which all theologians agree is that the aspiration to connect to the holy is a central need of society. So why is it that so many people fail to fill that need within organized religion? If the need for a connection to that which is holy, worthy of worship, awe-inspiring, is so universal, then why do so many actually reject religion?

One theory is that there are people in the secular world who hate anything they view as repressive. And although those same people would probably admit that they base their own lives on some basic moral code or convictions — that which religion is meant to provide — they live in fear that religion has become so polarized and/or politicized that rather than shaping us, it will strangle us. Others have been turned off by witnessing divisiveness or hypocrisy within a church, with some members more intent on setting rules than on setting an example. Others have heard or seen enough about fanatical, restrictive religions that they believe ALL religion is like that.

Fortunately, all religion is not like that, but those people may never know. At least, not unless they have the opportunity to discover what religion is supposed to be, and what it often is.

The late Pope John Paul had a special relationship with kids everywhere around the world, telling them all pretty much the same thing. “Settle for nothing less than moral and spiritual greatness. That's what God created you for.” And that's what religion is for, to form and shape your awareness of the moral and spiritual, and to spur you on to overcome such worldly preoccupations as greed, selfishness, materialism. Religion is intended to lift you up to become what you were truly created to be. Religion contains within it the wisdom to overcome selfishness, pride, greed, and hypocrisy, but only if it follows that universal call for holiness rather than focusing on the differences between one denomination and the other, or on an issue based on ritual or tradition rather than on an infinitely larger picture.

When I first joined a church, a non-denominational Christian church, I became convinced that this was the only way to God. I realize now what really happened. At a particular time in my life, God opened my heart so that I was ready to discover what a personal relationship with God was about, what faith was about. It could have happened at any church, but it hadn’t. It could have happened at any time in my life, but it didn't.

It happened at a particular Christian church, and because of that, I assumed that this was the only denomination that could have called me to holiness. It wasn't. It's just the place where I was called. It's where I met others who also felt called to the highest principles of religion — to be servants, givers, forgivers, and to know that God was available to us all on a personal level. It's where I developed my faith.

The job of religion is to connect with the divine, to convey a set of moral standards, ethics, and values that serve as foundational for each of its members, and to support them as they struggle to live in accordance with those principles. Everyone knows that they aren't living the best life they can live if they persist in doing immoral things. But the job of religion is not to beat people down with its message; it's to help them to soar, knowing that with God's help they can overcome their human tendencies to make bad choices.

When churches get so bogged down with legalism, accentuating their differences rather than their over-arching common purpose, they fail. When they seem to care more about the style of worship rather than its substance, they lose their purpose. But when they answer the people's need to connect to that which is holy, they bring out the very best in the human soul. And any church can do that, regardless of denomination, regardless of human differences, if that's their desire.

I also want to address for a moment the fear that religion has been politicized, and talk instead about why politics is more about religion than people might think.

Politics should be about religion because politics should be about moral values and ethical behavior. As former President George Bush said, “I believe politics to be a noble calling,” even as many would argue that the terms politics and noble are mutually exclusive. They shouldn't be; our political system was, after all, founded on religion. NOT on a specific religion, but on the ethics of religion, which asserted that we were all endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, such as life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. On the freedom of religion, that assured all could practice the religion of their choice, but that no one religion could be imposed upon them by the state. On the moral values of religion, that guaranteed an inclusive democracy and not an oppressive dictatorship.

Martin Luther King, Jr. practiced the politics of religion without offense because his interpretation of religion was exactly what we are all called to. His religion, and thus his politics, were about compassion, love, and mercy. He preached inclusion, when too much of organized religion is about exclusion.

You can't separate grace, compassion, forgiveness, loving your neighbor as yourself, into different denominations. You can't divvy up faith in God and connecting to the holy among different churches, or among different groups of people in a church. Jesus didn't offer that kind of religion. Instead, He showed us a way to live abundantly, a way to personally connect with God, and a way to welcome the power of God to live within us, if only we invite Him in. That's what religion should do.

Merry Christmas to all

2008-12-22T09:21:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to all 4 of you that follow my blog! I hope you have an amazing time with family friends. If you're traveling, I'll be praying for safety for you. Here's a little video to help get you all in the Christmas spirit....enjoy!

2009 Here I Come!!!

2008-12-10T11:56:00.000-08:00

Shoes that Fit

2008-12-10T11:47:00.000-08:00

It is Wednesday, December 10th, two days after our "Shoes that Fit" project in partnership with Monarch School in the inner city of San Diego. Founded in 1988, Monarch School is dedicated to providing homeless, and at-risk children, ages 7-18, with an accredited education while caring for their basic needs. It was our vision at Existence Church to make sure children and families alike were cared for in a practical way this winter, and when it was all said and done, over 470 pairs of shoes were given out to some very grateful families. Here are some stories.

.: The Big Yellow Bus...

Saint Vincent de Paul, a powerhouse homeless ministry in the inner city of San Diego also held an event during the same day as the Shoes that Fit project. For some reason, they were actually discouraging families from participating in our event. One family ignored their advice and came anyway. When the family finally made their way back to Saint Vincent’s, the staff and others were shocked over the quality of the brand new shoes! In a matter of minutes, Saint Vincent loaded families in their big yellow bus and immediately came our way.

.: The Streets of Daniel...

Daniel is a sixteen year old boy, who has had a difficult life. At eight he started smoking marijuana, by nine he was doing crystal meth, and by twelve he watched his father get gunned down in the streets. He then he turned to a life of gangs and living on the streets, and in shelters. Six months ago Daniel came to Monarch, got sober, and is in an independent living program. Daniel represents many who came to Monarch School on Sunday and walked away encouraged, with a new pair of shoes!

.: Payless and Fooseball...

A member of our church decided to sell his fooseball table, and use the funds to purchase shoes. Originally he was going to sell the table for a $100, but cut the price in half to help out a youth pastor. He then took the $50 to Payless Shoes, set several pairs of shoes on the counter, and to his surprise the total cost came to $48. Both a youth pastor and some needy families benefited from one person who creatively served Jesus!

.: Barbershops and Flyers...

A hair stylist in our church decided to go above and beyond, past her normal comfort zone. She asked her coworkers to jump on board and put a “Shoes That Fit” flyer in each of their stations. This allowed each stylist to take part in helping other people! . One particular person came into the salon to get her hair cut and noticed all the flyers. Our church member began to share all about the project, and Monarch School asking, “Do you know anything about Monarch School?” To this the lady replied, “Yes, I do, I work there!” Coincidence? I think not.

These are just a few stories from the “Shoes That Fit” project. Please be encouraged at the great things God can do through you too!

'Tis Better to Give

2008-12-04T09:23:00.000-08:00

So in this season of giving I wanted to tell you all how you can help support my ministry here at Existence Church. Just go to the Existence website and click on the Online Giving tab to the left. Click the button, Register with e-Give, then make a contribution. Just be sure to put Josh Carter in the description line. Or you can just click here and follow the instructions on the screen. Thank you everyone! Have a great Christmas!

I Don't Wanna Grow Up...

2008-12-01T15:25:00.000-08:00

For some odd reason, the older I become, the less presents I get at Christmas time. My age increases, but the amount of presents under the tree with my name on them decreases. And I never see any presents under there from Santa anymore. In fact, that might be where the ratio of age to presents started to shift: when I stopped believing in the creepy fat guy of Christmas who watches you all year long making his list of naughty and nice, and then squeezes his fat belly down your chimney (or just breaks into your house) and leaves you a gift or two, or three, or twenty. Growing up, Santa spoiled the heck out of me. You would have thought I was God's gift to parenthood with how many presents Santa brought me each year. But once I stopped believing the stories and the lies (like Santa being lactose intolerant), the number of presents began to decrease. Just when I started to really appreciate a gift, they stopped coming in the quantities I grew accustomed to. What's that all about? Santa went from spoiling me to barely even remembering my name. To his credit, I have moved about 9 times in the past 7 years, so maybe his records are a little out-dated (and some punk kid is playing with my iPhone right now), but I thought he was watching everyone! Regardless of the reason for seeing less colorful boxes under the tree with my name printed boldly on them, I have come to appreciate the few gifts I do receive each Christmas. And this year its even more true. With our economy in the pits (the rich stay rich and the poor get poorer), and unemployment at a record high, I don't expect to see many gifts under my tree this year, even though my family has been asking for my list. And I'm not upset or disappointed about it. In fact, I would like to see less gifts under my tree. America spends an average of $450 billion a year just on Christmas!! That just seems outrageous to me. So this year my list looks quite unusual. Its not packed with the usual things like an iPhone, gift cards to Nordstrom, cash for tattoos, or 3,000 DVDs. It looks like this:

Josh's Christmas List 2008

Just give!

Give...

Your money to a cause, organization, missionary, family or person in need.

Your time to help out someone or something.

Your heart to those who don't know love.

Less presents.

More love.

As I look at my bank account and try (like many of you) to manage the few nickels and dimes I have so that I can afford food, rent, gas, insurance, AND have enough left over for presents, I get discouraged. I'm sad I can't afford to buy my family what they really want. I can't afford a '68 Camaro for my mom, I can't afford 12 new phones for my niece (cause she goes through at least one a month), I can't afford some exotic reptile for my sister. But we can all afford what each of us truly needs this Christmas...love, time, energy, and forgiveness. There's no need to go further into debt just so our kids can have the latest Apple product, or our spouse can wear the newest styles from Ed Hardy.

So my challenge this Christmas is to be smart, be realistic, give less presents and more love. Bless people outside your family circle. Give a gift in honor of someone. Love the broken and lonely. Give your time and energy to help out. Christmas is about love, not presents.

Back to Normalcy

2008-11-11T11:48:00.000-08:00

Last Friday was my last day at Starbucks. I thought it was a great day even though my manager would say otherwise. He wasn't too excited to see me go especially with the holidays coming up. So now I'm full-time at Existence and back to working a normal 45-50 hour work week instead of 50-60 hours. I can't tell you all how excited I am to have a normal routine again. I'm able to wake up early and have coffee with God, relax at home in the evenings and do some art, go out with friends on the weekends; I'm really blessed to be back to normalcy. And since I'm at the church more, the pastors here are giving me more to do like paint, organize a network of artists in the church, manage the coffee bar, and organize a community art show. I LOVE MY JOB!!! So thank you to everyone who is making this possible for me. And keep telling people about the ministry you support; hopefully they'll want to support too. Click Here to see pictures from our Halloween event, Trunk or Treat.

Sample Work

2008-10-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a ton of design work for the church. Here are a few of them...

KC BBQ ain't got nothing on Ol' Phil

2008-09-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

The church was kind enough to send the four guys on staff to a church planters' conference in Kansas City earlier this week. Geoff, Josh, Shawn, and I had such an amazing time out there that we were so excited to get back to SD to start dreaming big and leading strategically. It was the coolest thing to see all of us embrace the freedom to dream big for our church. Josh said that over the past 5 years he's been more concerned with surviving as a church than being strategic. But now he feels like we're at a place where he can hold all our ministries accountable to our mission of being an inclusive, missional, community. He also challenged us to think about how we can be a risk-taking church and not a play-it-safe church. Its an exciting time here at Existence Church and I can't wait to see what God has planned for us...as long as we stay faithful to the vision he's given us.

P.S. We had KC BBQ at two different places, and while they were extremely tasty, I must say that Phil's BBQ in Point Loma is still my favorite. Great BBQ in San Diego! Who would have thunk it?

God is moving in BIG ways!

2008-09-15T11:08:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday, we celebrated our 5 Year Anniversary...and it was amazing! It was the first event that I helped plan and oversee in my role here at Existence Church. I was so nervous and stressed, especially since we failed in handing out all 24,000 flyers we had printed to advertise the event (we still have about 3,000 left). But in the end God brought the people and we had a blast together.

We held service at a huge park under this massive tent. In all, about 400-450 people were in attendance. Immediately following service we had free hamburgers and hot dogs, a bounce house, three live musicians, and the "Social Justice Marketplace": a collection of nine different non-profits from the San Diego area talking to people about how to get involved in what they're doing. It was such an awesome time!

The staff got to the park around 7am yesterday morning to start setting up for the service at 11am. As Small Group leaders and others began showing up to help prepare, we started to get excited. To think that 5 years ago, three 20-somethings moved from New York to San Diego in hopes of planting a church that lived up to its name, and here we are five years later seeing that hope come alive. As it got closer and closer to 11 o'clock, the people began to show up. It was crazy to see our entire church gathering under one tent to worship as one body and not two services. We had 400 chairs setup, but it wasn't enough to hold everyone. People were standing in the back and on the sides.

Then Josh Hotsenpiller (our lead pastor) got up to share. He spoke about where we've come from and where we're going. And I have to say that I was so pumped afterward. God is doing some amazing things in San Diego, and its a great feeling to say that I'm a part of it. There's no other place I'd rather be than in the hands of a God on the move. I can't wait to see what He does over the next five years!

Triple Grande Sugar-Free Vanilla Latte Extra Foam

2008-08-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my second day working at Starbucks. They really know how to through someone in the deep end of the training pool. Luckily I think I swam, at least for the majority of the day. The problems came in the beginning and end of my shift. Obviously, toward the end of my shift I was exhausted and my brain started to shut down from overload. As I would be making one or two drinks at a time, my training coach would ask me how many pumps of syrup or espresso shots should go in some other drink. It was great training, but got tiring and old after a little while. In the beginning of my shift, my manager was training me on the espresso bar. He told me that espresso shots need to be used within 10 seconds of being made, so he had me drink a good and bad espresso shot. After that I was WIRED for like 4 hours and then I crashed hard. Espresso is a legal form of Crack. I was twitching and shaking like I had tourette's. My knees were shaking so badly that I could hardly stand or walk. A few times my hands were shaking so badly that when I grabbed a cup to make a drink, it would go shooting out of my hand. But all in all, I think I'm going to enjoying my part-time job at Starbucks. At least enough to get enjoy the benefit packages. "Tall Half-Caf Americano for Janet!" Yeah I got this...

Not All Superheroes Where Capes

2008-08-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

Just think about the title for a second. "Not All Superheroes Where Capes". One of our pastors saw this on a T-shirt. I think this is such a true statement. I know none of my heroes where capes (although it would be hilarious to see Dr. Lozano, my high school principal, walking around with a cape on his suit). But that's the best thing about true heroes: they don't want people knowing they're heroes and/or they don't think of themselves as heroes. A hero is someone who does what is right when others cower, run or give in. Heroes make the hard decisions so no one else has to. Heroes stand up against injustice. Heroes lead where there is no path to follow. Heroes show their character through their actions not just their words. Heroes make you want to be a better person. So thank you to all my heroes!! Thank you for giving me an example to follow. I love you all.

Social Justice Marketplace

2008-08-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

The first event I'm planning at Existence is our 5 Year Anniversary. When most churches celebrate an anniversary, its commonly a very internal "family" event. We didn't want that. Our goal was to have a huge bash that would be an entry point for people to come check out our church. So one of the ideas we had was to host a "Social Justice Marketplace". We have invited a bunch of non-profit organizations to host a booth and tell the attendees about what they are doing both locally and globally to make this world a better place for everyone. I wanted to let all of you know about the different organizations that we've invited so you can check them out for yourself.

Invisible Children

International Justice Mission

Acirfa

Amor Ministries

San Diego Rescue Mission

Comfort The Children

Tijuana Christian Mission

Floresta

Alliance for African Assistance

Blood: Water Mission

Wrestling and Lunches

2008-08-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

So its my second day at my new job...and I absolutely love it! This church has the most amazing people on staff. Everyone's joking around with each other and laughing. There are spontaneous wrestling matches that break out in our low-ceilinged office. Oh yeah, the office reminds me of the 7 1/2 floor from the movie Being John Malkovich. Yesterday I met with just about everyone to nail down some details of the church's 5-Year Anniversary which I'm helping plan. I also handed out about 1,000 fliers at various parking lots in San Diego trying to get the word out for the Anniversary. Pastor Josh talked with Geoff and I about the Singles Ministry, which Geoff is heading up and I'm helping out. The thing I took out of that meeting is that we don't want to do church the way its been done in the past. This is not the church I grew up in, and its their goal to never be that church. We want to meet real people right where they're at. Today Geoff is taking me along to have lunch with the guy who leads up the UCSD InterVarsity Ministries. I've worked with IV in the past and I love what they do, so this should be a great meeting. After that Geoff and I are sitting down to calendar out all the events for the rest of the year. I'm so excited about this new job! And everyone I talk to that goes to Existence just talks about how its their family and they love it so much. This is a great church and God is just getting started with us.

Put Your Imagination on Your Feet

2008-08-12T11:27:00.000-07:00

My roommate, Bob, works for this amazing site called Etsy.com and he's been bugging me for months now to check it out. Well I last night I finally had time to sit down and take a look and....WOW! This site is awesome! Its an online marketplace for custom and handmade items. Anything you could want, made to your specs, specifically for you! He encouraged me to open up my own Etsy shop to sell my hand-painted shoes. So I did! Check it out JC Originals and spread to the word to friends, coworkers, and family. Thanks!

The Start of a New Era

2008-07-22T13:57:00.000-07:00

This is my first blog posting...ever! Some of you may be thinking I'm behind the times, others may think I'm some tech geek now. Either way I feel like this is a great way for all of you to keep in touch with me and what's going on in my life. Feel free to comment on any of the postings, pictures, whatever. The next month includes a lot of transitions and changes for me. My last day working with Amor Ministries in Mexico is August 8th. I start working at Existence Church on August 18th, even though I've already started working on the church's 5 Year Anniversary (to be held on Sept. 14th). I have a lot of mixed emotions about the change. I'm sad to leave Amor because I love this job! The past 3 years have been the greatest years of my young life. I've been able to search out God in my own ways, heal from my divorce, and discover my own theology. I feel like I truly know who I am and what I'm supposed to do, which is why I'm changing jobs. I'm also a little scared to be going back into the local ministry of the church. I feel like I was burned by my last church employer and I fear the legalistic politics that many of us find in church leadership nationwide. Now I don't think this church is quite like that, but the simple fact that it is a church brings the possibility of a negative transition into politics, gossip, and legalism. In the midst of my fears and sadness, I am so incredibly excited to be leaving a job that requires all of my time and energy and leaves me no time for church involvement and friends, and going to a job with some of the coolest people I've ever met. The leadership at Existence is full of young people exploring their own faith and struggling to understand what THE church should look like in the 21st century. I'm so excited to join that discussion and think about church from different perspectives. I can't wait to get involved again, make new friends, meet interesting people, hear their crazy stories, and just love them as best I know how. Yet with all that I've shared, I think what I'm most afraid to do is change my life. I'm happy, content, comfortable being where I'm at. And while I feel antsy for change some days (I've never held a job for more than 3 years), I like who I am and what I'm doing. But I know that if I stay at Amor, I'll just become more and more comfortable and set in my ways. There's no motivation to change. I can do a great job here just as I am. But if I work at Existence Church, then I'll have to change some of my habits, attitudes, and actions. I haven't arrived. I'm not the person that God wants me to be, but I'm on the right track. And even though I screw up a lot, I know God has me here for a reason, probably many reasons. And I'm scared to let him in. I'm scared to let him take hold of my life like he did before, because I don't want to go through the pain of changing nor the pain of feeling let down. I know the steps, the phases, I'll have to go through to become the person I need to be, and they scare me. Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble ." In other words, "If you choose to follow me, then you better prepare for a roller coaster ride that Magic Mountain can't even dream up." I'm not sure if it helps me to know that Jesus expected us to live a rough life marked by scars and bruises from not only fighting our own desires and instincts, but the world around us as well. But the next line definitely helps, "But take heart! I have overcome the world!" Its a reminder that life is more than just the short years we live on earth. Yet while we're here, we have a job to do: Love God, love others, and tell them about what Jesus has done in our lives. No, its not easier; in fact, more often than not, its harder. But its all worth it!! God, remind me that its all worth it!